Navy Deploys Unmanned Submersibles in Argentine Submarine SearchBy U.S. Naval Forces Southern CommandNAVAL STATION MAYPORT, Fla.— The Navy has deployed unmanned underwater vehicles to join in the search for the Argentine navy submarine A.R.A. San Juan, which is missing in South Atlantic waters. The equipment consists of one Bluefin-12D (Deep) UUV and three Iver 580 UUVs, which are operated by the Navy's recently established Unmanned Undersea Vehicle Squadron 1, based in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. The UUVs are uniquely capable to help in the search. Both types are capable of deploying quickly and searching wide areas of the ocean using side scan sonar, a system that is used to efficiently create an image of large areas of the ocean. The Bluefin-12D is capable of conducting search operations at 3 knots [3.5 mph] at a maximum depth of almost 5,000 feet for 30 hours, while the Iver 580s can operate at a depth of 325 feet, traveling at 2.5 knots [2.8 mph] for up to 14 hours. The U.S. is providing rapid response capabilities, including aircraft, and personnel to assist Argentina in its search for the missing submarine. In addition to the UUVs, the U.S. has deployed aircraft to assist in the search, as well as underwater equipment specifically designed for submarine search and rescue. One Navy P-8A Poseidon aircraft is already in Argentina, where it joined a NASA P-3 research aircraft supporting the ongoing search efforts over the submarine's last known location. U.S. Southern Command directed the deployment of this equipment and personnel to Argentina to support the country's request for international assistance aimed at locating the missing submarine and crew. Southcom is one of the nation's six geographically-focused unified commands, with responsibility for U.S. military operations in the Caribbean and Central and South America. |
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Unmanned Undersea Vehicles (UUVs)
How Come, Yes, Difference, That's Easy, Speak Up Full Time, Age, Diversity
“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.”
“Our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.”
“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.”
“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.”
“Parents and schools should place great emphasis on the idea that it is all right to be different. Racism and all the other 'isms' grow from primitive tribalism, the instinctive hostility against those of another tribe, race, religion, nationality, class or whatever. You are a lucky child if your parents taught you to accept diversity.”
“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”
California 2017
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Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Dubai 2010
Dubai has announced plans
to build the world’s biggest shopping mall with hotels and a garden
The project near central Dubai will include more than 100 hotels, entertainment facilities thousands of shops and art galleries. “Mall of the World” would welcome up to 80 million visitors a year. It will be bigger than current record holder, the Dubai Mall.
Dubai already already has the biggest mall on the planet, the Dubai Mall as well as the world’s tallest 200 stories high skyscraper, Burj Khalifa. In between is a man-made lake where the world’s largest dancing fountain shoots water 50 stories high.
Among other scheduled project is a replica of Taj Mahal, four times the size of the original in India. The building will be called the Taj Arabia and is designed as an over-the-top wedding venue.
And they are developing of a 60,000-seat horse-racing stadium and hotel complex in Dubai, and a tower with “sky gardens” and nine swimming pools as well as that the emirate’s ruler pet project of constructing a 1.6 kilometer canal from the Business Bay commercial area to the ocean.
The project near central Dubai will include more than 100 hotels, entertainment facilities thousands of shops and art galleries. “Mall of the World” would welcome up to 80 million visitors a year. It will be bigger than current record holder, the Dubai Mall.
Dubai already already has the biggest mall on the planet, the Dubai Mall as well as the world’s tallest 200 stories high skyscraper, Burj Khalifa. In between is a man-made lake where the world’s largest dancing fountain shoots water 50 stories high.
Among other scheduled project is a replica of Taj Mahal, four times the size of the original in India. The building will be called the Taj Arabia and is designed as an over-the-top wedding venue.
And they are developing of a 60,000-seat horse-racing stadium and hotel complex in Dubai, and a tower with “sky gardens” and nine swimming pools as well as that the emirate’s ruler pet project of constructing a 1.6 kilometer canal from the Business Bay commercial area to the ocean.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
What are Flashy Craters in Dwarf Planet Ceres
Here's info from Dawn Mission, NASA
INTERESTING REPORT FROM NASA |
Bright Areas on Ceres Suggest Geologic ActivityIf you could fly aboard NASA's Dawn spacecraft, the surface of dwarf planet Ceres would generally look quite dark, but with notable exceptions. These exceptions are the hundreds of bright areas that stand out in images Dawn has returned. Now, scientists have a better sense of how these reflective areas formed and changed over time -- processes indicative of an active, evolving world. "The mysterious bright spots on Ceres, which have captivated both the Dawn science team and the public, reveal evidence of Ceres' past subsurface ocean, and indicate that, far from being a dead world, Ceres is surprisingly active. Geological processes created these bright areas and may still be changing the face of Ceres today," said Carol Raymond, deputy principal investigator of the Dawn mission, based at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California. Raymond and colleagues presented the latest results about the bright areas at the American Geophysical Union meeting in New Orleans on Tuesday, Dec. 12. Different Kinds of Bright Areas Since Dawn arrived in orbit at Ceres in March 2015, scientists have located more than 300 bright areas on Ceres. A new study in the journal Icarus, led by Nathan Stein, a doctoral researcher at Caltech in Pasadena, California, divides Ceres' features into four categories. The first group of bright spots contains the most reflective material on Ceres, which is found on crater floors. The most iconic examples are in Occator Crater, which hosts two prominent bright areas. Cerealia Facula, in the center of the crater, consists of bright material covering a 6-mile-wide (10-kilometer-wide) pit, within which sits a small dome. East of the center is a collection of slightly less reflective and more diffuse features called Vinalia Faculae. All the bright material in Occator Crater is made of salt-rich material, which was likely once mixed in water. Although Cerealia Facula is the brightest area on all of Ceres, it would resemble dirty snow to the human eye. More commonly, in the second category, bright material is found on the rims of craters, streaking down toward the floors. Impacting bodies likely exposed bright material that was already in the subsurface or had formed in a previous impact event. Separately, in the third category, bright material can be found in the material ejected when craters were formed. The mountain Ahuna Mons gets its own fourth category -- the one instance on Ceres where bright material is unaffiliated with any impact crater. This likely cryovolcano, a volcano formed bythe gradual accumulation of thick, slowly flowing icy materials, has prominent bright streaks on its flanks. Over hundreds of millions of years, bright material has mixed with the dark material that forms the bulk of Ceres' surface, as well as debris ejected during impacts. That means billions of years ago, when Ceres experienced more impacts, the dwarf planet's surface likely would have been peppered with thousands of bright areas. "Previous research has shown that the bright material is made of salts, and we think subsurface fluid activity transported it to the surface to form some of the bright spots," Stein said. The Case of Occator Why do the different bright areas of Occator seem so distinct from one another? Lynnae Quick, a planetary geologist at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, has been delving into this question. The leading explanation for what happened at Occator is that it could have had, at least in the recent past, a reservoir of salty water beneath it. Vinalia Faculae, the diffuse bright regions to the northeast of the crater's central dome, could have formed from a fluid driven to the surface by a small amount of gas, similar to champagne surging out of its bottle when the cork is removed. In the case of the Vinalia Faculae, the dissolved gas could have been a volatile substance such as water vapor, carbon dioxide, methane or ammonia. Volatile-rich salty water could have been brought close to Ceres' surface through fractures that connected to the briny reservoir beneath Occator. The lower pressure at Ceres' surface would have caused the fluid to boil off as a vapor. Where fractures reached the surface, this vapor could escape energetically, carrying with it ice and salt particles and depositing them on the surface. Cerealia Facula must have formed in a somewhat different process, given that it is more elevated and brighter than Vinalia Faculae. The material at Cerealia may have been more like an icy lava, seeping up through the fractures and swelling into a dome. Intermittent phases of boiling, similar to what happened when Vinalia Faculae formed, may have occurred during this process, littering the surface with ice and salt particles that formed the Cerealia bright spot. Quick's analyses do not depend on the initial impact that formed Occator. However, the current thinking among Dawn scientists is that when a large body slammed into Ceres, excavating the 57-mile-wide (92-kilometer-wide) crater, the impact may have also created fractures through which liquid later emerged. "We also see fractures on other solar system bodies, such as Jupiter's icy moon Europa," Quick said. "The fractures on Europa are more widespread than the fractures we see at Occator. However, processes related to liquid reservoirs that might exist beneath Europa's cracks today could be used as a comparison for what may have happened at Occator in the past." As Dawn continues the final phase of its mission, in which it will descend to lower altitudes than ever before, scientists will continue learning about the origins of the bright material on Ceres and what gave rise to the enigmatic features in Occator. The Dawn mission is managed by JPL for NASA's Science Mission Directorate in Washington. Dawn is a project of the directorate's Discovery Program, managed by NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama. UCLA is responsible for overall Dawn mission science. Orbital ATK Inc., in Dulles, Virginia, designed and built the spacecraft. The German Aerospace Center, Max Planck Institute for Solar System Research, Italian Space Agency and Italian National Astrophysical Institute are international partners on the mission team |
Saturday, December 9, 2017
Caltech (California Institute of Technology) handles JPL for NASA
The Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) is a federally funded research and development center and NASA field center in La Cañada Flintridge, California and Pasadena, California, United States.
The JPL is owned by NASA and managed by the nearby California Institute of Technology (Caltech) for NASA. The laboratory's primary function is the construction and operation of planetary robotic spacecraft, though it also conducts Earth-orbit and astronomy missions. It is also responsible for operating NASA's Deep Space Network.
Among the laboratory's major active projects are the Mars Science Laboratory mission (which includes the Curiosity rover), the Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity, the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, the Dawn mission to the dwarf planet Ceres and asteroid Vesta, the Juno spacecraft orbiting Jupiter, the NuSTAR X-ray telescope, and the Spitzer Space Telescope. It is also responsible for managing the JPL Small-Body Database, and provides physical data and lists of publications for all known small Solar System bodies.
The JPL's Space Flight Operations Facility and Twenty-Five-Foot Space Simulator are designated National Historic Landmarks
JPL traces its beginnings to 1936 in the Guggenheim Aeronautical Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology (GALCIT) when the first set of rocket experiments were carried out in the Arroyo Seco. Caltech graduate students Frank Malina, Qian Xuesen, Weld Arnold, and Apollo M. O. Smith, along with Jack Parsonsand Edward S. Forman, tested a small, alcohol-fueled motor to gather data for Malina's graduate thesis. Malina's thesis advisor was engineer/aerodynamicist Theodore von Kármán, who eventually arranged for U.S. Army financial support for this "GALCIT Rocket Project" in 1939. In 1941, Malina, Parsons, Forman, Martin Summerfield, and pilot Homer Bushey demonstrated the first jet-assisted takeoff (JATO) rockets to the Army. In 1943, von Kármán, Malina, Parsons, and Forman established the Aerojet Corporation to manufacture JATO rockets. The project took on the name Jet Propulsion Laboratory in November 1943, formally becoming an Army facility operated under contract by the university.
During JPL's Army years, the laboratory developed two deployed weapon systems, the MGM-5 Corporal and MGM-29 Sergeant intermediate range ballistic missiles. These missiles were the first US ballistic missiles developed at JPL. It also developed a number of other weapons system prototypes, such as the Loki anti-aircraft missile system, and the forerunner of the Aerobee sounding rocket. At various times, it carried out rocket testing at the White Sands Proving Ground, Edwards Air Force Base, and Goldstone, California. A lunar lander was also developed in 1938-39 which influenced design of the Apollo Lunar Module in the 1960s.
In 1954, JPL teamed up with Wernher von Braun's engineers at the Army Ballistic Missile Agency's Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville, Alabama, to propose orbiting a satellite during the International Geophysical Year. The team lost that proposal to Project Vanguard, and instead embarked on a classified project to demonstrate ablative re-entry technology using a Jupiter-C rocket. They carried out three successful sub-orbital flights in 1956 and 1957. Using a spare Juno I (a modified Jupiter-C with a fourth stage), the two organizations then launched the United States' first satellite, Explorer 1, on January 31, 1958.
JPL was transferred to NASA in December 1958, becoming the agency's primary planetary spacecraft center. JPL engineers designed and operated Ranger and Surveyor missions to the Moon that prepared the way for Apollo. JPL also led the way in interplanetary exploration with the Mariner missions to Venus, Mars, and Mercury. In 1998, JPL opened the Near-Earth Object Program Office for NASA. As of 2013, it has found 95% of asteroids that are a kilometer or more in diameter that cross Earth's orbit.
JPL was early to employ female mathematicians. In the 1940s and 1950s, using mechanical calculators, women in an all-female computations group performed trajectory calculations.In 1961, JPL hired Dana Ulery as the first female engineer to work alongside male engineers as part of the Ranger and Mariner mission tracking teams.
JPL has been recognized four times by the Space Foundation: with the Douglas S. Morrow Public Outreach Award, which is given annually to an individual or organization that has made significant contributions to public awareness of space programs, in 1998; and with the John L. "Jack" Swigert, Jr., Award for Space Exploration on three occasions – in 2009 (as part of NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander Team, 2006 and 2005.
When it was founded, JPL's site was immediately west of a rocky flood-plain – the Arroyo Seco riverbed – above the Devil's Gate dam in the northwestern panhandle of the city of Pasadena. While the first few buildings were constructed in land bought from the city of Pasadena, subsequent buildings were constructed in neighboring unincorporated land that later became part of La Cañada Flintridge. Nowadays, most of the 177 acres (72 ha) of the U.S. federal government-owned NASA property that makes up the JPL campus is located in La Cañada Flintridge.Despite this, JPL still uses a Pasadena address (4800 Oak Grove Drive, Pasadena, CA 91109) as its official mailing address. The city of La Cañada Flintridge was incorporated in 1976, well after JPL attained international recognition as a Pasadena institution.
There has been occasional rivalry between the two cities over the issue of which one should be mentioned in the media as the home of the laboratory.
There are approximately 6,000 full-time Caltech employees most are PhD candidates or PhD holders, and typically a few thousand additional contractors working on any given day. NASA also has a resident office at the facility staffed by federal managers who oversee JPL's activities and work for NASA. There are also some Caltech graduate students, college student interns and co-op students.
The JPL Education Office serves educators and students by providing them with activities, resources, materials and opportunities tied to NASA missions and science. The mission of its programs is to introduce and further students' interest in pursuing STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) careers.
JPL offers research, internship and fellowship opportunities in the summer and throughout the year to high school through postdoctoral and faculty students. (In most cases, students must be U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents to apply, although foreign nationals studying at U.S. universities are eligible for limited programs.) Interns are sponsored through NASA programs, university partnerships and JPL mentors for research opportunities at the laboratory in areas including technology, robotics, planetary science, aerospace engineering, and astrophysics.
In August 2013, JPL was named one of "The 10 Most Awesome College Labs of 2013" by Popular Science, which noted that about 100 students who intern at the laboratory are considered for permanent jobs at JPL after they graduate.
The JPL Education Office also hosts the Planetary Science Summer School (PSSS), an annual week-long workshop for graduate and postdoctoral students. The program involves a one-week team design exercise developing an early mission concept study, working with JPL's Advanced Projects Design Team ("Team X") and other concurrent engineering teams.
JPL created the NASA Museum Alliance in 2003 out of a desire to provide museums, planetariums, visitor centers and other kinds of informal educators with exhibit materials, professional development and information related to the upcoming landing of the Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity. The Alliance now has more than 500 members, who get access to NASA displays, models, educational workshops and networking opportunities through the program. Staff at educational organizations that meet the Museum Alliance requirements can register to participate online.
The Museum Alliance is a subset of the JPL Education Office's Informal Education group, which also serves after-school and summer programs, parents and other kinds of informal educators.
The NASA/JPL Educator Resource Center, which is moving from its location at the Indian Hill Mall in Pomona, Calif. at the end of 2013, offers resources, materials and free workshops for formal and informal educators covering science, technology, engineering and science topics related to NASA missions and science.
German ICE4 intro in December
It is quite incredible news that Germans are started utilising rail trains. Germany is a most famous car producing nation for past (100) years and present. Germany owns world second best (after US) freeway system (Autobahn) in the world. Hi speed rail system travelling cost is cheaper than travelling by car and air travel
At present, there are five different types of the ICE in operation: the ICE 1, ICE 2, ICE 3, ICE T and ICE Sprinter. The ICE fleet currently consists of 265 trains. Starting from December 2017, more than 100 of the new ICE4 train will be added to the fleet by 2023.
Benefits at a glance:
- Comfort and convenience
- More legroom than on a plane
- Socket at your seat
- Free state-of-the-art WiFi in first and second class
- On-board mobile phone reception
- On-board catering
- Quiet zones and mobile phone zones for business travellers
- Seat reservation included in first class
Travel at high speed
Friday, December 8, 2017
ZawGyi (Super Wizard)
Zawgyi and Invisibility by Burmese Poet Zawgyi
Zawgyi and Invisibility
On the marionette stage
a zawgyi with a wand
how he leaps and soars
watching his antics
I despair
Super art invisibility
the power to make your body disappear
I dread invisibility
I fear you will next have your mind disappear
Translated by Maung Tha Noe
[ Zawgyi, from which the poet takes his pen name, is a puppet, a representation of an accomplished alchemist-magician, a super wizard, who can fly through the air and make himself invisible. The belief comes from vidyadhar of the Indian epic Mahabharata.]
On the marionette stage
a zawgyi with a wand
how he leaps and soars
watching his antics
I despair
Super art invisibility
the power to make your body disappear
I dread invisibility
I fear you will next have your mind disappear
Translated by Maung Tha Noe
[ Zawgyi, from which the poet takes his pen name, is a puppet, a representation of an accomplished alchemist-magician, a super wizard, who can fly through the air and make himself invisible. The belief comes from vidyadhar of the Indian epic Mahabharata.]
- 31 August 2010
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Mind Boggling
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
W. C. Fields
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
Imelda Marcos
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Ronald Reagan
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
Al Gore
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry A. Kissinger
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Hank Aaron
The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.
Hank Aaron
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
Edward Abbey
For me, writing a short story is much, much harder than writing a novel.
Lynn Abbey
I've read short stories that are as dense as a 19th century novel and novels that really are short stories filled with a lot of helium.
Lynn Abbey
Today more than ever we need creative minds to address the issues of the age. And one of the most urgent is this: How can humanity know so much, achieve so much, and still fail so many people so badly?
King Abdullah II
As brilliant an individual that Michael Jordan was, he was not successful until he got with a good team unit.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
I expect more people from China and Asia to end up in the NBA.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.
Muhammad Ali
I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round.
Muhammad Ali
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Muhammad Ali
When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.
Mike Tyson
1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
Ron Paul
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?
Steven Spielberg
A lot of people like to do certain things, but they're not that good at it. Keep going through the things that you like to do, until you find something that you actually seem to be extremely good at. It can be anything.
George Lucas
A lion's work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together.
Chuck Jones
Fog and smog should not be confused and are easily separated by color.
Chuck Jones
Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light - you'll go broke.
Chuck Jones
The older I get, the more individuality I find in animals and the less I find in humans.
Chuck Jones
The only time a wife listens to her husband is when he's asleep.
Chuck Jones
I've never met a genius. A genius to me is someone who does well at something he hates. Anybody can do well at something he loves - it's just a question of finding the subject.
Clint Eastwood
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.
Clint Eastwood
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
Bruce Lee
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
Jack Nicholson
I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.
Jack Nicholson
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
Will Rogers
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Will Rogers
In soloing - as in other activities - it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.
Amelia Earhart
I was always afraid of dying. always. It was my fear that made me learn everything I could about my airplane and my emergency equipment, and kept me flying respectful of my machine and always alert in the cockpit.
Chuck Yeager
I have seen the science I worshiped, and the aircraft I loved, destroying the civilization I expected them to serve.
Charles Lindbergh
Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
John Lennon
Groucho Marx
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
W. C. Fields
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
Imelda Marcos
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Ronald Reagan
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
Al Gore
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry A. Kissinger
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Hank Aaron
The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.
Hank Aaron
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
Edward Abbey
For me, writing a short story is much, much harder than writing a novel.
Lynn Abbey
I've read short stories that are as dense as a 19th century novel and novels that really are short stories filled with a lot of helium.
Lynn Abbey
Today more than ever we need creative minds to address the issues of the age. And one of the most urgent is this: How can humanity know so much, achieve so much, and still fail so many people so badly?
King Abdullah II
As brilliant an individual that Michael Jordan was, he was not successful until he got with a good team unit.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
I expect more people from China and Asia to end up in the NBA.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.
Muhammad Ali
I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round.
Muhammad Ali
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Muhammad Ali
When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.
Mike Tyson
1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
Ron Paul
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?
Steven Spielberg
A lot of people like to do certain things, but they're not that good at it. Keep going through the things that you like to do, until you find something that you actually seem to be extremely good at. It can be anything.
George Lucas
A lion's work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together.
Chuck Jones
Fog and smog should not be confused and are easily separated by color.
Chuck Jones
Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light - you'll go broke.
Chuck Jones
The older I get, the more individuality I find in animals and the less I find in humans.
Chuck Jones
The only time a wife listens to her husband is when he's asleep.
Chuck Jones
I've never met a genius. A genius to me is someone who does well at something he hates. Anybody can do well at something he loves - it's just a question of finding the subject.
Clint Eastwood
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.
Clint Eastwood
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
Bruce Lee
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
Jack Nicholson
I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.
Jack Nicholson
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
Will Rogers
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Will Rogers
In soloing - as in other activities - it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.
Amelia Earhart
I was always afraid of dying. always. It was my fear that made me learn everything I could about my airplane and my emergency equipment, and kept me flying respectful of my machine and always alert in the cockpit.
Chuck Yeager
I have seen the science I worshiped, and the aircraft I loved, destroying the civilization I expected them to serve.
Charles Lindbergh
Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
John Lennon
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