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Friday, November 25, 2016

He's been on my radar since 2010


"The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump." —Jay Leno

"If Trump does become president, I hope he puts a wig on his plane and calls it Hair Force One." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'" –David Letterman

"In an interview yesterday, Donald Trump said he has a good relationship with 'the blacks.' Well, not anymore." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations." –Craig Ferguson

"Donald Trump might be running for president and he just released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as 'blue' and his hair as 'ridiculous.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?" –David Letterman

"If Donald Trump loves America so much, why does he keep outsourcing the job of his wife?" –Seth Meyers

"Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?'" —Bill Maher

"In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network Donald Trump said 'I believe in god.' But of course Donald thought he was talking about himself." –Jay Leno

"Maybe he should ease into this - by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men." –Jimmy Kimmel

"On Fox News, Donald Trump said Obama's birth certificate could indicate that he's a Muslim. Trump said he doesn't trust anyone with a foreign-sounding name, and neither does his daughter Ivanka." –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump called George W. Bush 'the worst president in the history of the United States.' Then he added, 'Until, of course, I'm elected.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump is attacking President Obama's background. And I said, 'Wait a minute, Trump also is from a mixed background. He's half jack and half ass.'" –David Letterman

"Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant." –David Letterman

"How would Trump travel as president? Obviously, he'd use Hair Force One." –David Letterman

"It's starting to look like Donald Trump may be a serious presidential candidate. If you're in my line of work, Trump running for president for real is the greatest thing that has ever happened." –Conan O'Brien

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