CEO, Now you are & Priest Monk and Rabbi

         CEO
The young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. 
“Listen,” said the CEO, “this the very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?” 
“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. 
“Excellent, excellent” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.” I just need one copy.”

                                           

         Now you are .....!
An explorer in deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, “Oh, God, I’m screwed.” 
The sky darkens and the voice booms out. “No, you are not screwed. Pick up the stone at your feet and bash the head of the chief standing in front of you.” 
So with the stone he bashes the life out the chief. Standing above the lifeless body, breathing heavily, he looks at a hundred angry natives. 
The voice booms out again, “ Okay …..now you’re screwed.”                 

      Priest, Monk and Rabbi
A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber, and asks how much he owes him. The barber says "Father, you're a holy man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house. "The priest says, "Thanks you very much" and leaves. The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins. 

A few day later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, "No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house." The next day. Magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies. 

The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, "No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in peace." And the next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis...